“{And they give preference to others over themselves}”: The time my mother interpreted the Qur’an better than a sheikh

This article is part of the special column “Here, We Open the Qur’an Together, and Love Shines Through” on Raseef22.

Our Arab and Islamic heritage is a vast space illuminated by the lanterns of knowledge, literature, and art—this is something we all know. In this sky, dense with thousands of stars, there is a sun that has shone upon souls and minds for fourteen centuries, and thus hundreds of branches have blossomed. The Qur’an, as a fundamental component of our culture and heritage, is that very sun under whose light many thinkers, philosophers, mystics, artists, poets, and others have stood, creating works of art, thought, and poetry throughout the ages. But here, we do not wish to be philosophers, poets, or intellectuals. Instead, we are just ordinary people who have received this beautiful text, read it, loved it, or were amazed and captivated by it.

In this column, we pull the Qur’an down from the shelf and open it to look at it once more—not just as a sacred text, but as a book brimming with literary, spiritual, and intellectual beauty. We explore the impact its verses have had on its readers—not only Muslims but also people of other faiths and cultures.

The book that has inspired an abundance of interpretations and exegeses, the text that has moved thousands of architects and painters to add beauty to the world, is one we should take pride in our affiliation to. And here, we remind ourselves that we do not read it to prepare for battle, but rather, when we place it back on the shelf after reading, our souls should be ready for mercy and love, just as it says: “{And We have not sent you except as a mercy to the worlds}.”

Germany’s immortal literary figure, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, never hid his fascination with the Quranic text. He believed that the profound impact of the Qur’an on the human soul stemmed from its remarkable, rigorous, and strict style. Meanwhile, the Austrian orientalist Joseph von Hammer-Purgstall argued that the beauty of the Quran’s language and its divine essence were the true reasons behind the spread of the Prophet Muhammad’s message, rather than the power of the sword.

It is no surprise that the Qur’an has also captivated many non-Muslims from the Arab cultural sphere. The Coptic Egyptian intellectual Louis Awad consistently expressed his admiration for the Quran’s language, eloquence, and lyrical beauty. It is only natural, then, that Muslims themselves would feel an even deeper connection to their holy book.

The Qur’an offers many dimensions beyond the violent image often emphasized in Western propaganda, which seeks to promote a narrow and reductive understanding of Islam, portraying it solely as a religion of violence and terror.

The Qur’an enthralls those who immerse themselves in its pages, not only through the majesty and grandeur of its language and the depth of its meanings but also through the profound impact it has on the soul. Its words settle within a person with quiet grace, as though gently urging them toward spiritual and moral elevation.

The Qur’an also offers many dimensions beyond the violent image often emphasized in Western propaganda and discourse, which seeks to promote a narrow and reductive understanding of Islam, portraying it solely as a religion of violence and terror. In contrast, many Quranic verses establish a universal ethical framework and system of values that transcend borders and religions, as if presenting a message of global humanism and a universal humanitarian call.

“They give preference to others”

I have a deeply personal experience with the Quranic text. In my childhood, I was captivated by a particular verse—verse 9 of Surah Al-Hashr—which reads:

“{As for those who had settled in the city and ˹embraced˺ the faith before ˹the arrival of˺ the emigrants, they love whoever immigrates to them, never having a desire in their hearts for whatever ˹of the gains˺ is given to the emigrants. They give ˹the emigrants˺ preference over themselves even though they may be in need. And whoever is saved from the selfishness of their own souls, it is they who are ˹truly˺ successful.}”

Every time I heard the phrase “{They give preference to others over themselves, even though they may be in need},” I was deeply moved—not just by the beauty of the text and its rhythm in Arabic, but also by the depth of the profound meaning that I tried to grasp over and over again.

At first, I asked the sheikh of the mosque near our home about its meaning. He gave me a rigid, textbook explanation. Then, I asked my mother, and her interpretation resonated with me far more deeply—it shaped my thinking and behavior to this day.

I was deeply moved—not just by the beauty of the Quranic text and its rhythm in Arabic, but also by the profound meaning that I tried to grasp over and over again.

The sheikh, drawing from all he knew about the interpretations and commentaries of scholars like Al-Qurtubi, Al-Tabari, and Ibn Kathir, explained the verse within its historical context and the reasons for the revelation. I learned from him that it was part of the Madinan Surah Al-Hashr and that it was revealed to praise the people of Medina (the Ansar) for their generosity in welcoming their Meccan brethren (the Muhajirun, or emigrants), even preferring and honoring them over themselves.

The sheikh had certainly done his duty toward a young child—he explained the classical interpretations as he had learned them. But he did not bring the sacred text to life or connect it to personal or everyday behavior as it should be. Thus, the concept of ithar (selflessness and altruism) remained, in my mind, confined to a historical incident between the Ansar and the Muhajirun.

In his Jami’ al-Bayan (Tafsir al-Tabari) book, Al-Tabari interprets the verse as follows:

"Allah SWT, in describing the Ansar, says: ‘And those who were settled in the city and had adopted the faith before them,’ meaning before the arrival of the Muhajirun. ‘They give preference to others over themselves’—they offered their wealth to the Muhajirun, favoring them over their own needs. ‘Even though they are in need’—despite their own hardship and poverty, they still prioritized others over themselves."

This verse followed me like my shadow. Whenever selfishness gets the better of me in a situation, the Qur’anic phrase “{And they give preference to others over themselves, even though they may be in need}” would spring to mind. I would fight my selfish impulses and feel a strange sense of joy when I’d overcome them.

When I asked my mother the same question, her answer was different. She told me that ithar (selflessness and altruism) means to put others before yourself and to resist your own selfishness. She explained it to me simply: “If you’re eating with your friend at school and you have a piece of candy that he wants, give it to him and be content.” She then gave me many other practical examples along the same lines.

This Quranic verse followed me like my shadow. Whenever selfishness gets the better of me in a situation, the Qur’anic phrase “{And they give preference to others over themselves, even though they may be in need}” would spring to mind. I would fight my selfish impulses and feel a strange sense of joy when I’d overcome them. I will always be indebted to my mother and her spontaneous explanation of this verse, as it helped me cultivate and refine my character as much I could.

As I grew older, the verse remained deeply ingrained in my heart. I studied the Arabic language and cultural heritage and learned about the value of ithar. I discovered that the word comes from the Arabic root verb ‘athara’, meaning to prefer or to honor. The concept of selflessness and altruism has been a defining trait of Arab culture since ancient times. The pre-Islamic tale of the generous Hatim al-Tai stands as a distant historical root of this virtue. His name became synonymous with generosity, so much so that the Arabs would say, "Generosity is Hatim, and poetry is Zuhayr," and the phrase "A Hatim-like generosity" became a common expression of praise.

At first, I asked the sheikh of the mosque near our home about the verse’s meaning. He gave me a rigid, textbook explanation. But when I asked my mother the same question, her answer was different. Her interpretation resonated with me far more deeply—it shaped my thinking and behavior to this day.

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya, in his book Madarij al-Salikin, also known as Ranks of the Divine Seekers, distinguishes between ithar (altruism), generosity (sakhā’), and open-handedness (jūd), despite the fact that all three involve the act of giving and offering. He writes:

“This stature (the stature of ithar) is one of generosity, open-handedness, and benevolence. It is called the stature of ithar, or altruism, because it is the highest among them. There are three levels: The first is when giving does not burden a person or feel difficult—this is sakhā’ (generosity). The second is when a person gives more than what they keep for themselves, or at least an equal amount—this is jūd (open-handedness). The third and highest level is when a person gives to others despite their own need—this is ithar (selflessness or altruism).”

Selflessness and altruism in the modern world

In modern times, the value of ithar has taken on different forms. Volunteering for public service has become an act of selflessness in developed societies, where people dedicate their time or money to serving the community without expecting anything in return other than the satisfaction of helping others.

In these societies, ithar, or altruism, is considered a key measure of a person’s character. When applying for a university scholarship or even a job, the number of volunteer hours spent serving the community is an important criterion—sometimes even a deciding factor—for acceptance. Acts of selflessness contribute to a person’s personal and professional reputation, becoming an invaluable part of their record and personal history.

As I grew older, the verse remained deeply ingrained in my heart. I studied the Arabic language and cultural heritage and learned that the concept of selflessness and altruism has been a defining trait of Arab culture since ancient times.

Perhaps the story of Toby Ord, a philosophy professor at the University of Oxford, serves as a strong example of how Western society has embraced the value of ithar. In 2009, Ord donated more than a third of his income—£10,000—to charities operating in the world's poorest countries. Additionally, he contributed £15,000 from his savings as the first step in his pledge to donate £1 million over the course of his lifetime.

Ord later launched a campaign to recruit other people—such as Bill Gates—to pledge at least 10% of their lifetime earnings to charitable causes. Within a year, 64 people had joined him, committing to donations totaling £14 million.

Toby Ord’s story received widespread recognition at the time. It is also worth noting that the funding of the most prestigious Western universities is a result of altruistic behavior, as the majority of their funding comes from donations made by individuals and institutions.

The adoption of altruism as a core value in modern Western society has been the subject of serious academic study. A 2017 study by European researchers suggested that altruism resulting from individual values is reshaping Western societies. For some time, Western countries have experienced a rise in individualism, which has, in turn, fostered generations of people with altruistic mindsets.

Despite the differences between Western and Arab value systems, certain universal human values remain, with altruism being among the most prominent. The Quranic text encouraged this noble value more than 1,400 years ago, and its message still echoes today: “{And they give preference to others over themselves, even though they may be in need},” continuing to inspire people across different beliefs and backgrounds.

Increasing wealth and security in Western nations have led to a shift in values from collectivism to individualism, according to Ronald Inglehart’s Modernization Theory. As a result, people have become less inclined to accept authority and authoritarianism, while freedom and self-expression have gained greater importance.

Despite the differences between Western and Arab value systems, certain universal human values remain, with altruism being among the most prominent. The Quranic text encouraged this noble value more than 1,400 years ago, and its message still echoes today: “{And they give preference to others over themselves, even though they may be in need},” continuing to inspire people across different beliefs and backgrounds.

* The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Raseef22