Your voice matters!

Take the lead!
Support the cause!

Society's killer paradigm: Get married, have children, and tie him to you more

Society's killer paradigm: Get married, have children, and tie him to you more

Join the discussion

We’d like to hear from everyone! By joining our Readers' community, you can access this feature. By joining our Readers, you join a community of like-minded people, thirsty to discuss shared (or not!) interests and aspirations.

Let’s discuss!

Opinion Women’s Rights Marginalized Groups

Tuesday 26 September 202311:53 am
إقرأ باللغة العربية:

برادايم المجتمع القاتل: تزوجي، انجبي، اربطيه فيكِ أكتر


Do humans have a choice or is everything predetermined? Humans may have a choice in many matters, but also do not in existential matters such as birth and death, among others. But hold on, this interrogative introduction is not suitable for talking about women living in the shadow of a society that has depicted their ideal lives according to a distorted plan that is based on centuries-old ignorance, upheld and embraced by the majority, embodied in a deceptive trinity: "Get married, give birth, and tie him to you even more."

The tragedy of "Get married"

As a woman, you will grow up, and if you are fortunate, you will learn. Then, in less common cases, you will get to choose a college major you love, or in more common cases, one that your society loves. Society often blesses the teaching profession for women, considering it a light occupation suitable for future married life. It allows you to go to school for fewer hours than any other profession, and grants you the privilege of staying home during the summer vacation, which lasts for about three months.

You will hear one phrase, regardless of your social status: "A girl's end is her husband's home." Yes, you will discover, whether you're an astronaut or a housewife, that the highest level of ambition depicted in the paradigms of our society is "marriage"

If you have more freedom in your choices, you may work as a doctor, engineer, translator, lawyer, or any other job, even if it is not academically related. You may choose to work in flower arranging, hairdressing, sewing, embroidery, or even stay at home voluntarily, but those happen more in forced cases. In the end, regardless of your social status, you will hear the same phrase: "A girl's end is her husband's home." Yes, you will discover, whether you are an astronaut or a housewife within the walls of your home, that the highest level of ambition depicted in the paradigms of our society is "marriage."

Marriage is salvation, and the husband is the savior. Marriage is the safe haven, and the husband is security and safety. No matter how poor or wrong your choice may be, or even if it was forced and imposed on you, because, as the foolish popular saying goes: "Men are a blessing, even if they are rough as coal." Or, as an Egyptian saying puts it: "[Having] the shadow of a man is better than [having] the shadow of a wall".

The tragedy of "Give birth"

You got married? Congratulations, but wait, there is no room for rest or salvation. Now you must prepare yourself for a series of new interventions that will begin with a serious existential question, accompanied by a stupid, curious blink of an eye: "Tell us (reassure us), what's the news?" Here you fall into the misfortune of what to answer. If there is no pregnancy, you will gradually begin to feel, due to the daily repetition of this superficial and irresponsible reassurance, that something is wrong with you and that a real danger looms over you. Then you'll discover that the idea is not only about marriage, but also about giving birth.

Regardless of your readiness as a couple, both financially and mentally, for this fateful step, you must only give birth. You must give birth to a child who carries his father's name, ensuring the continuity of the great family line. Therefore, hurry up and go visit doctors, fortune tellers, and sheikhs so that they can assure you, collectively, of the birth of a great male who will add value to this foolish humanity of ours. Only childbirth guarantees your husband's attachment and commitment to you, according to an outdated and inherited female logic that has been ignorantly passed down through generations, whispered in women's ears: "Get a son; that will tie this man to you." As if the society that invented this phrase is indirectly saying to you: "A man is closer to being a cattle animal. If you don't tie him to yourself well, he will wander in the wilderness in search of another to bind him."

So, tie your animal with childbirth, even if divorce had been looming ahead due to your incompatibility, and your rush into this marriage, out of fear that the rosy train of marriage might pass you by. Bear children, no matter the cost, as it's incredibly easy to inundate society with more complex and repressed human products. The process of conception takes only about nine seconds, after which you will secure a firm bond to your husband and a disastrous life for an unhappy child.

The tragedy of "Tie him to you even more"

You got married? Congratulations. You gave birth to your first child, and there was no divorce, as you two are in harmony? That's remarkable. However, you're not off the hook. There are more interventions into your life and decisions awaiting you. In the best-case scenario where your firstborn is a boy, you now need another child, a brother for him to play with, grow up together, and become each other's support. But there's a chance that your first experience with childbirth results in a girl. This means you're still in the circle of danger. You must strive diligently to give birth to a male child who will strengthen your husband's bond with you and tie him to you even more. Never mind if science has long established that it's the man's sperm that determines the baby's gender. Science, with all its proven foundations, is questionable and theoretical and does not concern us. You must simply strive and, once again, silently bear the burden of fulfilling society's expectations and give birth to a boy.

As the foolish saying goes: "Men are a blessing, even if they are rough as coal." Or, as an Egyptian saying puts it: "The shadow of a man is better than the shadow of a wall."

Two children, three, boys, girls, more children... This is the optimal solution to ensure the continuation and longevity of your marriage, regardless of whether there's a financial capacity to raise them, provide proper care, nutrition, and living conditions for them, or not. Simply put, marriage and procreation are the law of the universe.

"The lucky ones are those who did not reach the egg in the first place"

It's not natural for your choice to marry to be based on societal norms that label you as a "spinstress" because of your biological clock, or that your menstrual cycle had ceased. Or out of fear from societal myths that claim you won't find well-being and safety except through marriage, which allegedly brings stability and protection. Then, other disastrous myths suggest that your marriage won't last unless you keep having children, even if it comes at the expense of your health, dreams, work, and desires. The outcome will be a miserable mother, and in many cases, a mother who's abused and unable to nurture her children with genuine affection, leading to further societal deformation and individuals who curse angrily, repeating the words of the depressed Roman philosopher, Emil Cioran: "The lucky ones are those who did not reach the egg in the first place."

* The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Raseef22

Join Join

Raseef22 is a not for profit entity. Our focus is on quality journalism. Every contribution to the NasRaseef membership goes directly towards journalism production. We stand independent, not accepting corporate sponsorships, sponsored content or political funding.

Support our mission to keep Raseef22 available to all readers by clicking here!

Departing from the constraints of traditional journalism

Traditional media is shackled by outdated customs and stifling social norms that curb freedoms.

At Raseef22, we stand together to ensure that each and every individual enjoys their full right to learn, engage and express themselves.

Website by WhiteBeard