Women are “wicked and spiteful” and men are “intelligent and great”: Why do double standards persist?

When I see an angry woman, or a woman with basic human flaws like anyone else, I notice that everyone focuses on her behavior. Although her behavior is normal (who doesn’t get upset these days?) she is either labeled as “difficult and unbearable,” or met with a broken record of criticisms directed at women. On the other hand, when we see a man exhibiting behavior that is similar or even worse, our society makes excuses for him. Occasionally, society even glorifies his actions as those of a “real man.”

From the archives of my life

During my childhood, my school principal was a strict man. He loved enforcing rules and didn't show kindness to anyone. He had a sharp personality but did his job exceptionally well. He was so strict that he began to deduct from the salary of staff who were even a single minute late to work. His discipline spared no one, not even his wife. People described him as "disciplined and responsible, a great man of integrity."

In contrast, during middle school, I had a female principal who behaved in the same way. However, she was labeled as, "sadistic, heartless, without mercy, and unfit for any position." She was accused of imitating men with her strictness, and people even suggested that she leave the workforce and return to the kitchen.

Women have the same feelings and desires as men —they want success, fame, love, marriage, money, children, and a family— exactly as men do. So why are these traits praised in men but criticized in women?

Observing the behavior of men and women, I find that their actions are similar: both are human, with psychological, social, ethical, and religious motivations. Women have the same feelings and desires as men—they want success, fame, love, marriage, money, children, and a family—exactly as men do. So why are these traits praised in men but criticized in women?

A distant voice

Many women have pioneered various fields. Their names are etched in our hearts and minds.

In the arts, who could match the legacy of Umm Kulthum, Kawkab el-Sharq ("Star of the East")? There was talk of her strong personality, but no dispute over her talent and her personal life. Hers was a voice that changed the course of music history and the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Her songs were a companion at night, on trips, and along the road. She changed the course of many lives, including mine.

When I see a woman who is angry, or exhibits human flaws, I notice that everyone focuses on her anger. Although her behavior is normal (who doesn’t get upset these days) she is labeled as “difficult and unbearable.” On the other hand, when we see a man exhibiting similar, or even worse behavior, our society makes excuses for him. Occasionally, society even glorifies his actions as those of a “real man.”

In the early stages of my adolescence, I would sit on my balcony at night and think, "What do I want to be?" I didn't like conventional work—I loved freedom. At that time, most of my friends had a very clear future: graduation, marriage, and starting a family, or, graduation, getting a job, and then marriage. But I wasn’t aiming for a typical job or to get married. I love art and crafts and have a unique taste in everything I do. So, the question remained, what should I do?

Fear used to grip me as these overwhelming thoughts swirled in my head. However, suddenly, while I was in a cafe just a few meters away from home, "Thuma’s" voice crept into my heart and mind. She made me feel things I had never experienced before. I began to dream, standing still and feeling a variety of beautiful emotions. On that day, I wrote a social media post expressing my deep admiration for her voice. Someone wrote a comment that, despite me not remembering their name, stayed with me. They wrote, "This is how a new life begins. Congratulations."

I would wait for the night to listen to her from afar—a distant voice that brought me hope and certainty.

I wrote the first article I published years ago to the sound of her voice. I shot my first video with her voice echoing in the background. Listening to her would make me think about my future and my life ahead. I drew, I loved, I lost, I suffered, and I endured, all with her as my companion. I became a writer, an artist, and a free spirit because of her voice. A voice that roared and embraced my soul.

Despite what has been said about her personality—that she was "narcissistic" and had a tough attitude—I see her as a woman who was safeguarding her success, even when it didn’t always please everyone. After all, men do the same! Why does society focus on Umm Kulthum's sharp personality and self-preservation but rarely mention the same traits in men?

As I approach thirty, I see that, despite the progress of our modern world, discrimination persists in gender inequality.

About myself

In my early teens, I used to feel that I was special. I believed that, unlike others, I had no flaws. I considered myself angelic, with wings that flutter in the sky. As I neared the end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood, I started to scrutinize all my actions, decisions, and reactions, and their triggers.

I discovered that I had many traits that were far from angelic: curtness, irritability, stubbornness, moments of laziness, procrastination, moodiness, and a tendency to self-isolate.

Yet my personality also carried opposite qualities: calmness, empathy, enthusiasm, timeliness, a love for people, politeness, tact, and sensitivity in conversation.

I nearly went mad trying to reconcile how I could be all of those things at once. I began a journey of self-discovery that took many years and ultimately realized that my behavior often mirrors that of others. I don’t get angry because I'm inherently irritable, but because I struggle to handle stressful situations. Similarly, I don’t isolate myself t because I'm antisocial, but because I can't bear to be around people I find hypocritical or don’t like. I might seem "isolated," but I'm sociable with those I love and feel comfortable around.

In the film "The Devil Wears Prada," Andrea, the protagonist, was on a date with someone who described her boss Miranda as a sadistic, heartless person who cared only about work and success. Andrea summed up my entire thought process with a few words: "If she were a man, no one would even notice her harshness."

I have learned to respect and express my feelings, no matter the consequences. My peace of mind and well-being are all that matter to me. I am confident in the purity of my heart and I am free. I have emotions, strengths, and weaknesses like everyone else. Being self-aware is priceless: knowing and accepting that your emotions will contradict themselves is a difficult space to reach, but it's worth the effort.

As I approach thirty, I see that, despite the progress of our modern world, gender discrimination persists. In the film "The Devil Wears Prada," Miranda, a protagonist, is stern and very hardworking, to the point of being off-puttingly inflexible. the. However, throughout the film, she follows her instincts, is successful, and does the right thing in the end.

I'm not sure if I've succeeded in explaining my thoughts. You'll most likely find many flaws in this text—flaws that might be overlooked if I were a man, but will be highlighted because I'm a woman.

The duration of the movie threw me into a whirlwind of thoughts about all the ideas I mentioned above. Andrea, another protagonist, sums them up in a single scene: she is on a date with someone who describes her boss, Miranda, as a sadistic, heartless person who only cares about work and success. Immediately, this made me think of my former boss. I watched as Andrea replied in short, "If she were a man, no one would notice her harshness."

I'm not sure if I've succeeded in explaining my thoughts. You'll most likely find many flaws in this text—flaws that might be overlooked if I were a man, but will be highlighted because I'm a woman.

* The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Raseef22