As a queer person, I write this piece with a heavy, aching heart and a mind filled with exhaustion.
“Jnoud el Rab”, who deem their deeds as acts of chivalry, along with religious figures convinced they are protecting their followers, and extremists who believe they are protecting their children from harm, have not only spread more homophobia, but created a newfound fear among the queer community; a fear of religion; a fear that emerges from the realization that all religious factions have, for once, united in the name of hatred and violence.
Imagine the terror we, as a community, felt when “Jnoud el Rab” decided to disgrace the very God they claim to serve, by spreading violence, hate, and terror in His name. Imagine the terror and fear our parents felt, when they learned that their children were under attack, simply because of their existence. Imagine the extreme pain and internalized self-hate that members of the community felt, when they witnessed their parents reposting heart wrenching comments insulting the existence of their own children.
As a queer person, I write this with a heavy, aching heart and a mind filled with exhaustion. Imagine the terror we, as a community, felt when “Jnoud el Rab” decided to disgrace the very God they claim to serve, by spreading violence, hate and terror in His name
I personally heard and read extremely hateful comments coming from my own father. He believes that queer communities were satanic cults that grew and spread through non-consensual brainwashing. Some of the hurtful things he said were insults and angry remarks that I had never dreamed would come out of his mouth, especially since he is an extremely kind and peaceful man usually. If only he had known how his own daughter was affected by his words, and how he allowed his "princess" to start despising him.
All of this is causing a battle to rage within me. For our right to exist, I want to fight. I want to defend my friends who suddenly found themselves trapped in a bar worrying about being assaulted or possibly killed. Yet, my hands feel tied, and I feel I am unable to. I'm scared that our fight could potentially backfire, and lead to more hate and violence directed towards us. I worry about hurting my mother, who has been nothing but supportive, and who has made sure to always protect me from people’s ugly words. Most importantly, I worry about my own life.
All of this is causing a battle to rage within me. For our right to exist, our right to live, I want to fight. I want to defend my friends who suddenly found themselves trapped in a bar worrying about being assaulted or possibly killed
As someone who has always been open and proud about their queerness, I have never been one to fear going out and showing people who I was. I never worried about displaying my love for my partner in public. But sadly, following last Wednesday's events, I have to admit that I am now afraid to do so. My partner and I went to a concert on Friday night, and whenever she'd approach me, I would involuntarily flinch. I was terrified a person would see us and react with hostility, leading to unwanted comments, a fight, or possibly something even worse. This made me question for the first time ever, whether staying in this country is a safe choice for me.
My love for Lebanon is beyond words. Among all my friends and companions, I was always the one to stand firmly with the idea of staying in this country and never leaving it. Yesterday was the first time I questioned my choices. Do I want to stay in a country where people associate queerness to satanism? Do I want to stay in a country where political figures believe early marriage and pedophilia are the right ways to prevent queerness? A country where these same figures also call upon our death?
As a definition, the word terrorism means the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, specifically against civilians. The word oppression means subjecting individuals to cruel and unjust treatment. The word apartheid means segregation or discrimination between communities. These three words describe what we have been subjected to on Wednesday, as a community.
My love for Lebanon is beyond words. Among all my friends and companions, I was always the one who stood firmly with the idea of staying in this country and never leaving it. Yesterday was the first time I questioned my choices
As an answer to my previous question, do I want to stay in this country that has hurt my community for so long? Surprisingly I do. I want to show everyone that although we are scared, we are still here. Their hate won’t make us disappear; on the contrary, it makes us stronger.
We are here and we are everywhere. And that is why queerness is infinite.
Join the Conversation
jessika valentine -
5 days agoSo sad that a mom has no say in her children's lives. Your children aren't your own, they are their father's, regardless of what maltreatment he exposed then to. And this is Algeria that is supposed to be better than most Arab countries!
jessika valentine -
4 weeks agoحتى قبل إنهاء المقال من الواضح أن خطة تركيا هي إقامة دولة داخل دولة لقضم الاولى. بدأوا في الإرث واللغة والثقافة ثم المؤسسات والقرار. هذا موضوع خطير جدا جدا
Samia Allam -
1 month agoمن لا يعرف وسام لا يعرف معنى الغرابة والأشياء البسيطة جداً، الصدق، الشجاعة، فيها يكمن كل الصدق، كما كانت تقول لي دائماً: "الصدق هو لبّ الشجاعة، ضلك صادقة مع نفسك أهم شي".
العمر الطويل والحرية والسعادة لوسام الطويل وكل وسام في بلادنا
Abdulrahman Mahmoud -
1 month agoاعتقد ان اغلب الرجال والنساء على حد سواء يقولون بأنهم يبحثون عن رجل او امرة عصرية ولكن مع مرور الوقت تتكشف ما احتفظ به العقل الياطن من رواسب فكرية تمنعه من تطبيق ما كان يعتقد انه يريده, واحيانا قليلة يكون ما يقوله حقيقيا عند الارتباط. عن تجربة لم يناسبني الزواج سابقا من امرأة شرقية الطباع
محمد الراوي -
1 month agoفلسطين قضية كُل إنسان حقيقي، فمن يمارس حياته اليومية دون ان يحمل فلسطين بداخله وينشر الوعي بقضية شعبها، بينما هنالك طفل يموت كل يوم وعائلة تشرد كل ساعة في طرف من اطراف العالم عامة وفي فلسطين خاصة، هذا ليس إنسان حقيقي..
للاسف بسبب تطبيع حكامنا و أدلجة شبيبتنا، اصبحت فلسطين قضية تستفز ضمائرنا فقط في وقت احداث القصف والاقتحام.. واصبحت للشارع العربي قضية ترف لا ضرورة له بسبب المصائب التي اثقلت بلاد العرب بشكل عام، فيقول غالبيتهم “اللهم نفسي”.. في ضل كل هذه الانتهاكات تُسلخ الشرعية من جميع حكام العرب لسكوتهم عن الدم الفلسطيني المسفوك والحرمه المستباحه للأراضي الفلسطينية، في ضل هذه الانتهاكات تسقط شرعية ميثاق الامم المتحدة، وتصبح معاهدات جنيف ارخص من ورق الحمامات، وتكون محكمة لاهاي للجنايات الدولية ترف لا ضرورة لوجوده، الخزي والعار يلطخ انسانيتنا في كل لحضة يموت فيها طفل فلسطيني..
علينا ان نحمل فلسطين كوسام إنسانية على صدورنا و ككلمة حق اخيرة على ألسنتنا، لعل هذا العالم يستعيد وعيه وإنسانيته شيءٍ فشيء، لعل كلماتنا تستفز وجودهم الإنساني!.
وأخيرا اقول، ان توقف شعب فلسطين المقاوم عن النضال و حاشاهم فتلك ليست من شيمهم، سيكون جيش الاحتلال الصهيوني ثاني يوم في عواصمنا العربية، استكمالًا لمشروعه الخسيس. شعب فلسطين يقف وحيدا في وجه عدونا جميعًا..
محمد الراوي -
1 month agoبعيدًا عن كمال خلاف الذي الذي لا استبعد اعتقاله الى جانب ١١٤ الف سجين سياسي مصري في سجون السيسي ونظامه الشمولي القمعي.. ولكن كيف يمكن ان تاخذ بعين الاعتبار رواية سائق سيارة اجرة، انهكته الحياة في الغربة فلم يبق له سوى بعض فيديوهات اليوتيوب و واقع سياسي بائس في بلده ليبني عليها الخيال، على سبيل المثال يا صديقي اخر مره ركبت مع سائق تاكسي في بلدي العراق قال لي السائق بإنه سكرتير في رئاسة الجمهورية وانه يقضي ايام عطلته متجولًا في سيارة التاكسي وذلك بسبب تعوده منذ صغره على العمل!! كادحون بلادنا سرق منهم واقعهم ولم يبق لهم سوى الحلم والخيال يا صديقي!.. على الرغم من ذلك فالقصة مشوقة، ولكن المذهل بها هو كيف يمكن للاشخاص ان يعالجوا إبداعيًا الواقع السياسي البائس بروايات دينية!! هل وصل بنا اليأس الى الفنتازيا بان نكون مختارين؟!.. على العموم ستمر السنين و سيقلع شعب مصر العظيم بارادته الحرة رئيسًا اخر من كرسي الحكم، وسنعرف ان كان سائق سيارة الاجرة المغترب هو المختار!!.